Life Is In The Moments, And Those Moments Are Our Life

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My four-year-old daughter recently asked me if everyone had a dog.

When I replied, “No, some people have a bird, a cat, a lizard, or even a bunny as a pet. And some people have no pets at all,” she looked puzzled. So I went on to explain that every family is different—different houses, different rules, different pets, and even different experiences.

This new idea seemed to intrigue her. The notion that other children lived differently than she did was fascinating, though she quickly moved on to other questions (as young kids often do).

🐾 A Lesson in Kindness

The very next day, she had a not-so-great experience at the kids’ club in our local gym. A little boy had pulled her hair. With all the seriousness in the world, she told me, “Since he was not nice, I am not going to be nice to him!”

As her mom, my first instinct was to ask, “Where is this boy?” (I’ll admit, not quite as calmly as I said it out loud!) She pointed, and I saw a young, energetic boy not much older than her. He wasn’t behaving aggressively with anyone else, so I took a breath, calmed myself, and knelt down beside her.

I knew that how I handled this moment would matter. It wasn’t just about this boy or this incident—it was about teaching her how to handle future conflicts.

When I asked why she thought he pulled her hair, she replied, “Because I was in his way, and he wanted me to move.”

So I said, “Remember honey, every family has different rules and different experiences. While your experience just now wasn’t happy, it doesn’t need to ruin your whole day. What he did was unkind, but that doesn’t mean you need to be unkind. You can’t control his choices, but you can control yourself. If he’s unwilling to be kind, then keep your distance and play in another area.”

I braced myself for a rebuttal—but instead she smiled and said, “Ok, you’re right. I don’t need to be mean to him just because he was mean to me. I can just be me. I’ll just play over here.” And off she went, happy again.

🌟 Small Conversations, Big Lessons

Watching her walk away, I realized this moment had gone smoothly because of the conversation we’d had the day before—about families, pets, and how experiences differ.

What seemed like a fleeting, simple question—“Does everyone have a dog?”—had actually been the groundwork for a much bigger lesson.

I believe that as parents, we need to be mindful that every moment can be a chance to learn. Even the smallest, most ordinary questions can shape who our children become: how they think, how they love, how they handle conflict.

The key is to keep the conversation going. Keep listening—really listening—to their questions, their worries, and their stories. Remind yourself that you were little once, too. Be the support you needed at their age. Be the encourager, the believer, the one who listens without judgment.

No one knows them better—because in many ways, you were them once upon a time.